


24k Lush

by LadyStardust97



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Character Study, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:47:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26039698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyStardust97/pseuds/LadyStardust97
Summary: When you listen to a song every day, your enjoyment of it becomes tied more to the happy memories associated with it rather than the song itself.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

" Professor! I've been working on my lance skills! Would you like to spar with me?"

Dimitri, tall and awkward, catches up to him as he's walking back from the main building.

" Mm. Sure."

It's half an answer, but it's an answer nonetheless, and the prince is visibly excited. 

In the training room, they back-and-forth for a bit. Dimitri is strong, but relatively unskilled. He has had a formal education, not a life on the battlefield. 

Byleth dodges, gets up close, and twists his wrist so that the lance falls to the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

" Professor! I've learned a new technique! Shall we practice together after class?"

" Mm. Alright."

He does a little better this time, and with a little effort, almost gets Byleth to the wall. But it takes just one lapse in his judgment- he often loses track of himself when he's heated- for Byleth to disarm him.

Surprisingly, he keeps going, a sort of fierce determination in his eyes.

Byleth uses his weight against him to flip him down on the ground.

He lays there, panting, for a moment.

" Professor..."

" Yes?"

" You've broken a sweat."

" Yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is kind of loose around the edges stuff anyway but forgive me for any inaccuracies I've kind of Not played azure moon in like. over half a year


	3. Chapter 3

" Professor, if you're not feeling well, you do not have to come to spar with me later. I will ask for-"

" It's fine."

They're both quiet for a moment.

" But your father is dead. Surely you would like more time to grieve-?"

" It's fine."

Dimitri still looks a little uncertain, but Byleth himself is uncertain what to say to him.

He needs the routine. He wants company. He needs to swing his sword without feeling anything. He wants someone to stop it before anyone gets hurt. 

Dimitri is good at fighting, and he is polite, and he is always around.

When they fight, it is a near stalemate.

Instead of passively remarking on his victory as Dimitri lays beneath him, he sinks down to his chest and lays there. 

It is the only thing he can think to do, since his body refuses to shed tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing about this stuff is fun because i actually like my dad (irl) and get intense anxiety about the thought of him dying or getting hurt


	4. Chapter 4

" Professor... You're still alive...?"

"..."

A hand reaches out for him, and stops. Perhaps he is afraid of touching something real. Perhaps he is afraid he will accidentally kill anything he touches.

" No... You can't be... You've come to torment me, like all the rest..."

His voice cracks as he slumps back down.

Byleth crouches in front of him.

" Touch me, Dimitri," he says. " I am real."


	5. Chapter 5

" Professor, can you hear them?"

He is looking down at the rubble of the caved in chapel.

" I cannot."

" One of them used to sound like you... I thought it was you..."

His gaze is unfocused, as he leans onto his lance, gripping it just as much for stability as comfort.

" I did not die. I am still alive. I plan to continue on that way," Byleth says, uncertain of how to respond. " Come rest. I will look after this place in your stead if need be."

Byleth is aware that Dimitri has changed, and he has not. Byleth is aware that the others grow increasingly worried not only about Dimitri's mental health, but his basic competency as a leader.

He can offer no solution to any of these issues, but he can at least try to keep him alive. 

He is unsure what that feeling is or how to convey it.


	6. Chapter 6

" Professor... You've come to bother me again?"

He's holed up in his old room, locked away while the others have begun to work to fix the chapel.

" Unlock your door."

" I'll unlock it on the condition you bring me that wretched woman's head."

" Do you not want to be the one to claim it?"

A harsh laugh.

" True."

" Dimitri," Byleth says. " Come spar with me."

There is a silence.

" Dimitri."

" ...I decline, Professor."

" I am not here to teach you anything," Byleth says. " I am not a professor."

"...I decline."


	7. Chapter 7

" ...Professor?"

"..."

"...Professor?"

"..."

"...Byleth?"

...But there still isn't any reply.

" I wanted to talk to you about the march on the capital, I am glad you agreed that we should hurry to slay that vile woman, I have many ideas for how we should move out, for how to kill her, after all, it'll be you and I that kill her, won't it? You've supported me, Pro- Byleth, I mean, forgive me." 

The door opens slightly.

" You can't do anything as you are now," Byleth says.

" Of course I can. I'm ready to. With you by my side, we'll rid the world of that foul woman, and avenge the fallen. Do you not wish to hurry to do so, Professor?"

" If you're angry at someone, take it out on me," Byleth says. " I am the one who abandoned you."

" I am afraid I don't understand. It's her fault. She is responsible for the death of your father. For countless ills. It is her fault you were taken away. You did not abandon me."

Byleth reaches up and presses his palm to Dimitri's forehead.

" You have a fever," he says. 

" That does not matter. If we hurry, we can leave for the capital by tomorrow, so let us hurry."

" I do not believe we should hurry, Dimitri," Byleth says.

" It could be just us-"

" I believe that you need to rest."

Dimitri's hand is on the stone wall. It cracks.

" I will be perfectly fine once that terrible woman is dead. I can rest once the voices rest."

" Dimitri," Byleth says.

" You'll be at ease too, won't you, Byleth? She'll stop haunting you, and you can rest, and we can rest together..."

" The only thing that haunts me is my concern for you," Byleth says.

Dimitri stops, clearly frustrated, but unable to mutter on for a moment.

" I don't understand," he says. " Why are you betraying me? Earlier you said you'd support me. Why are you changing your mind?"

" I am not changing my mind," Byleth says. " You must prove yourself to me."


	8. Chapter 8

It's been a long time since they fought, and their bodies take a few minutes to adjust to the rhythm of the mock battle. 

Dimitri is strong. He is very strong. Byleth is keeping even with him through strategy, but he is overwhelming.

He's so much different from how he used to be. He is not outwardly awkward, or unsure in how to handle a weapon. He is not stiff and formal and polite. Dimitri has changed so much but Byleth feels the same. He can't understand how change feels.

Dimitri twists his wrist and his sword clatters to the ground. It is dangerously close to breaking before he withdraws his hand to hold onto Byleth's jaw.

" Have I proven myself to you?" he asks.

" You are very strong," Byleth acknowledges.

" Please, Professor," Dimitri asks.

" You have changed from the time that I met you," Byleth acknowledges.

" Please, Professor," Dimitri asks.

" I cannot let you out of my sight," Byleth says. " I am afraid you are going to die."

Dimitri sharply inhales, shaking a little. He is never composed, so much as he is on guard, but it feels like a crack in the armor of delusion he's kept around himself.

He lifts Byleth up and gathers him in his arms, squeezing tight enough that it begins to hurt.

" Byleth," he says.

" Byleth, Byleth, Byleth," he says. " Don't leave me again. I was lonely. Everyone died. I was so lonely. I thought you died. Edelgard took everything from me. I thought I had died. I don't want to die. I can't let her live. Professor. Please. Please. I'm trying so hard."

There is an uneven, rough feeling to the way he speaks.   
Byleth is unsure of what it is.

Dimitri starts to cry.

Oh.

This is 'affection'.


	9. Chapter 9

Dimitri has not been well since Gronder.

Rather, he is better, but ill in different ways. 

The anger choking him has sublimated into sadness.

He has a grip on his own mind, but he is already convinced of the death of his heart.

" Dimitri," Byleth calls out to him. " It is late."

" I am praying."

" Is there a need to pray?"

Dimitri stands and looks at him.

" I've been responsible for many horrible things... People have died because of my quest for vengeance... What else can I do but offer penance?"

" You can continue to live."

There is a question that hangs in the air but goes unspoken.

Byleth looks up at him.

Dimitri looks down at him.

" You are very different from how you used to be," Dimitri says.

" I am not," Byleth replies.

" Will you smile for me, Byleth," he asks.

" Why."

" I need you to."

...Another moment passes.

" ...You are very different," Dimitri says.

He is standing very close, still.

" Why did you do that?" Byleth asks, though he doesn't truly want to hear a definitive answer.

" You are close enough that I can touch you now," Dimitri says. His voice is aching. " So please do not leave me again."


	10. Chapter 10

Byleth is still thinking about the kiss. He does not want to be. It is terrible to think about. He feels like he has injured a baby bird. He feels like he has trampled a garden. He feels like he cannot be the person that Dimitri needs him to be.

It is easy to forget when he is on a battlefield, inflicting violence. 

It is easy to forget when he is killing people who once used to look up and smile at him.

" Professor, I'm so glad you're teaching our class today!" Dorothea said when he had substituted for them. 

He liked Dorothea and thought she was a talented, intelligent woman. 

But now she is dead, like all the others, because he has killed her, like all the others, because of Dimitri.

Or maybe it's because of Edelgard.

Or maybe it's because of Rhea.

Or maybe it's because of people whose names and faces he doesn't know, that he'll never know, that he has never known.

Soon enough Edelgard will either surrender or die.

Everything around them is already smoking ruin.

What is there here to fight for, really. 

He promised Dimitri a future he himself didn't really believe in.

But it is hard to not want to give Dimitri things.

He goes up the palace steps, into the building. There is still meager resistance, but it is not much.

It is quickly done away with.

The others will be arriving soon to empty, golden halls. Red on red on red.

There is so much he wants to give Dimitri.

The country.

Peace.

Stability.

Prosperity.

Peace.

Warmth.

Peace.

Peace.

Peace.

Affection.

Himself.

But there is only so much he can give Dimitri.


	11. Chapter 11

" I am sorry," Byleth says.

Dimitri is quiet.

" I should've gotten here sooner," Byleth says.

Edelgard is dead.

" I did not mean for things to end like this," Byleth says.

" There's nothing we can do about it."


	12. Chapter 12

" Byleth, would you come sit next to me? I'm tired."

" Mm. Sure." 

Byleth pulls up a chair next to his bed in the castle's infirmary.

" Look, I'm resting, as I said I would."

" You are," Byleth says.

" You should rest too."

" I'm not tired," Byleth says.

" Byleth, forgive me if it is not the case, but you have scarcely slept this week," Dimitri protests. " We have just won a massive battle. There is still a long road ahead of us as we turn to rebuild the nation. You should rest."

" If I sleep, then where shall I sleep? I do not wish for you to be left alone."

" Sleep here, Byleth."

Oh.

He's inviting him in.

Dimitri smiles at him and reaches out.

And his hand brushes Byleth's face.

" Your face is red," he says. " I had always thought you could not blush. Is it so embarrassing?"

The words die in Byleth's throat when he tries to reply.

It has been so long since he's known Dimitri.

And Dimitri has changed so much, but he is still the same.

" Byleth...?"

He looks a little stressed.

Byleth isn't sure what to do.

...Another moment passes.

" Your face is red," Byleth says.

Dimitri grabs him by the collar and yanks him up into the bed.

" P-professor... That... I..."

Up against his chest, Byleth can hear his heart beat fast, like it's so full of emotion it's grown sick of its cage. It feels like it's beating enough for both of them.

" I won't leave," Byleth says. " Let's rest."

**Author's Note:**

> i already wrote this whole thing it's kind of short for what i normally do. but I'm spacin it out. title is a frank iero song go listen to it to Understand  
> also on mobile it's not letting me add tags rn so uhhh important notes  
> ** this covers pre and post timeskip  
> ** relationship is post timeskip


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